unnecessary fear and wasted potential

I was thinking about my growth in the car earlier today. I started my college career in the Fall of 2017 and it now being the Spring of 2021, I have come quite a long way. There have been many times where I have self sabotaged myself by trying to make myself believe that I am not a good student or that I do not engage enough or as often as I should. I find it easy to lose myself in the sea of abundance that is considered my young “20-something college student” life. Family health issues, spending time with friends, procrastinating work way too often, and being too stressed by the causes of my new internship. All real reasons that impact what I put out into the world and what I tend to decide to keep in. I want to expect better from myself.

My father told me that I should be hungry to be doing more; eagerly approaching internships and staying on top of every assignment I am given. I agree. When I think about graduating and starting the beginning of my life, it seems scary. My ideas are too broad and I care too much about what other people think of my work. The largest “killer of dreams” is that of the fear of rejection and criticism. Criticism should be a way of learning. Things tend to stick in our heads when we are criticized because there is a sense of “attack”. I do not think this way about criticism anymore. I now believe that criticism is the key to success; we should be grateful that someone is taking time to recognize our work and decipher it as something useful and entertaining or something that maybe would be best discarded into the trash.

My goal is to shift to a smaller lens on life. Looking through the lens right now, I see a large world with billions of communities and they distract me from what is right in front of me. I desire to be more honest with myself and provide myself with resources to help me stay on track by being organized and ahead of the game. With everyday, I realize how thankful I am to be struggling. We tend to learn a bit faster when we are thrown directly into the fire. You will find yourself saying “Yes” a whole lot more than “No”, and the confidence that resides deep down in your being will grow with abundance creating an essence of elevation in your truest self.